Two Sides of the Same Coin
by HayleyLouise
Summary: Penny and Howard are more similar than either of them thought.
1. Chapter 1

Howard had always been attracted to Penny. Sure, people thought his friendship with Raj was more than just friendship,  
and Howard wasn't the ladies man he made out to be, but Howard liked Penny. A lot.  
Howard didn't know why he always came across as a pervert. Most people figured it stemmed from his self esteem issues (the issue being that his self esteem was non existent), and they accepted it. But most of the time,  
Howard honestly thought he was complementary towards women.

Penny hadn't always liked Leonard. At first, she liked Sheldon more than she did Leonard.  
He was honest, straightforward and didn't care what other people thought about him or his opinions.  
Penny soon realised that Sheldon was a little odd, but she loved him for it. Not a romantic love, but she did love him.  
Penny thought she loved Leonard. She really did. But, late at night, when she was honest with herself,  
she knew they wouldn't work out. She needed to be challenged, not catered to. She needed someone to argue with her, to keep her on her toes, to blow her mind, both intellectually and physically. Sure, Leonard was smart,  
but they couldn't have a real debate, as Leonard mostly talked about physics or comic books or science fiction.  
That gets boring after a while, especially when you don't understand most of it. The only person who came close to challenging her was Sheldon. And after that, it was Howard.

Howard complimented Penny, albeit in a backhanded way. It was creepy and sweet at the same time.  
When she told him to shut up, he did so, but there was always something there. As if he did it to make her happy, but knew he could rile her up again. Not like Leonard. Leonard only wanted Penny to be happy by serving her.  
And if he wasn't serving her, he was making her feel stupid with science and words she didn't understand.  
Howard always explained things in a way she could understand. Sheldon tried, but seldom succeeded.  
If someone were to ask her when Howard Wolowitz invaded her thoughts and became an almost permanent fixture in them, Penny would be unable to answer. She didn't know. However, she did know that she had to keep it to herself, not for fear of ridicule, but for fear of something coming of it. 


	2. Chapter 2

Howard's father left him and his mother. People think this is where Howard's low self esteem comes from, but that isn't true. His father wasn't a very nice person. To him, Howard was an inconvenience, and an embarrassment to the Wolowitz name. Howard didn't play sports, didn't have a lot of friends and was a total nerd. He was never happy with 'little Howie' only having good grades. He felt he should at least be good at a sport. That would look good on a college application. Whenever his father would tell him this, Howard would point out that he was too young to be thinking about college.

Sheldon's comments about him only having a master's degree did bother him, but what bothered him more was his father. He told Howard that he was utterly disappointed that Howard was a lowly engineer and believed he could have done better. Howard hated that his father could make him feel so bad and so good about himself at the same time.

Penny had a similar problem with her father. If she had been a boy, then he would have paid Penny more attention. Hell, he would have actually given her some attention! Penny's father wanted a boy so much he all but ignored Penny. She never had a relationship with her father until she moved to Pasadena. Even then, he still called her slugger.

Howard had always been attracted to Penny. Penny could tell, even without the pervy comments. But Penny hadn't always been attracted to Howard. In her mind, she woke up one day, and just... Just noticed him. It weirded her out a little bit.


	3. Chapter 3

Penny had wanted to be an actress since she was very young. Her parents watched tv quite often. She would see the way her parents were engrossed in the shows, and she knew that was what she wanted to do. Penny wanted to be noticed. Sure, boys noticed her, but they never wanted to get to know her. They only wanted her body, her sex.

Howard wanted Penny. He wanted to have sex with her, he wanted to take her on a date, he wanted a relationship with her. People assumed that Howard was just a slimeball because of his comments, but Penny knew there was more to him than that. Penny knew he could be sweet.

Penny first realised this when Howard and Bernadette had broke up, after she and Leonard had broke up. She had been over at Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. Sheldon made a comment about Penny's lack of education, and she ended up going back to her own apartment. Howard had followed her, and let himself in. 'It's nice, in a way, to know I'm not the only who gets mocked for a lack of education. Look, I'm sorry. Sheldon can be a douche. He doesn't understand that some people aren't interested in going to or staying at college, or that some people, for whatever reason, just can't do it. Just ignore him, ok?' Howard was genuine with his words. He hated seeing Penny upset. 'Howard, I'm not upset about what Sheldon said. Leonard always dumbed everything down for me, cause I wasn't 'educated'. Sheldon does it too, but he's Sheldon, and it doesn't come across as mean. Sheldon doesn't mean to come across like that. But it reminded me how much of an asshole Leonard is!' Penny had poured and drank a glass of wine while saying all of this. Howard noted that she looked tired, and frustrated. 'Hey, Leonard is not the be all and end all when it comes to men, you know. Not all of us are total pigs. But, if you need to talk, you have my number. I'm gonna go home, but I'll see you later, ok?' Penny had let him leave, knowing he was a true friend, and she didn't have many of those anymore.

It was a few months after she broke up with Leonard that Penny realised Howard was the main topic of her thoughts. She realised she didn't know much about him. When she thought about going on a date with Howard, she pushed the thought to the back of her mind. _If he asks me, I'll say yes_, she thought to herself.

Howard had thought about dating Penny plenty of times, but plucking up the courage to ask her out on a proper date was proving difficult, and he had no one to turn to for advice. So, instead, he invited her to the movies, as a friend, and decided to see how that went, first. 'I had a lot of fun, Howard. Thank you for taking me to dinner. You really took my mind off my boring little life!' She had laughed. She genuinely laughed, because she knew that this may as well have been a date. Howard had just smiled when she said this, wishing it could have been a date, so he had a viable excuse to get to know her better. _And people think I'm a perve? Seriously! _Penny had genuinely enjoyed Howard's company, and wondered what would happen next, had this been a real date. 'Penny, do you maybe wanna hang out again?' He looked very nervous, and couldn't meet Penny's eyes, instead, choosing to focus on the ground. 'Not, like, a date or anything, unless you want that, but just as friends?' He was shuffling now, from foot to foot, awaiting her answer. 'Could we make it a friendly date? Get to know each other better, as friends?' She couldn't help but laugh when he nodded vigorously.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok, been a while. Tried to get some of the others opinions in there! HUGE thanks to xMidnightLilliex for helping me out with this :)**

Howard had entertained Penny on their non-date. Stories of his childhood, college, of him and the guys. She told him stories of Nebraska, and some of the better times she had there. 'Howard, I can't help but feel like this is a real date.' She eyed him nervously, awaiting his reaction. 'I kinda wish it was, but we're just friends, right? That's all we can ever be, you made that pretty clear.' He didn't mean to upset her. He had long come to terms with the fact that they could only be friends. Sure, it hurt, but she was a permanent presence in his life now, and he wasn't willing to give that up. But as soon as the words left his mouth, Penny looked a little disappointed, as if she were trying to reign her emotions in. _But what if I don't want to be just friends anymore? She thought. _She had just been shot down by Howard Wolowitz; the man she told no woman would find attractive if he were the last man on earth. Gutted didn't even begin to describe it.

Leonard had always been a patient person. He waited patiently for his parents to show him any sort of love. He waited patiently for the bullies to stop beating him up. He waited patiently while Sheldon had his fits. But when it came to Penny, something in him just snapped. And when he found out Howard had taken Penny (HIS Penny) on two dates, well, he felt he couldn't be held responsible for his own actions.

'Leonard, trust me, it wasn't a date. No, we haven't kissed. No! I didn't try. I was a gentleman the whole time. We went to dinner as friends!' Howard seemed to get more agitated with each question that had obviously been asked. Penny walked over and snatched the phone. 'Leonard, we aren't dating, we broke up. Howard and I are friends, ok? You have no right to interrogate him! Leave Howard and I alone before I go all Nebraska on your ass!' Seeing Penny like this made Howard want Penny even more. She was beautiful when she got angry.

Howard and Penny were no longer welcome at Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. Sheldon was unhappy, his routine had been altered due to Leonard's inability to let go. Sheldon had tried alternating between his apartment and Penny's, but it was no use. His spot at Penny's apartment wasn't like his spot at home.

Sheldon was aware that Howard and Penny were attracted to each other. He could practically smell it on them whenever they were together in front of him. He understood why Leonard was upset, but didn't understand why he was being such a douche to Penny and Howard when it was none of his business who Penny spent time with. Leonard was definitely an idiot in Sheldon's book.

Sheldon was glad Penny returned Howard's affections, and thought they were tiptoeing around each other. He didn't understand why they weren't together already.


	5. Chapter 5

Ok, I know, it's been a while. Well, I've had a lot on my mind, one of my aunts has cancer, I had my birthday and was really missing my parents, and my fiancee and I decided to move up to our hometown, where almost all my family and my fiancee's family live. So not really an excuse, but I wasn't up to writing. For those who don't know, Glenmorangie is whiskey. Also, Howard and Bernadette (though I love them together) crashed and burned before this story begins!

Penny had to tell someone. She couldn't keep it to herself anymore. Which is how she ended up at Amy's, with a bottle of Glenmorangie in hand.

'Bestie, I normally don't comment on your drinking, but Glenmorangie? Why?' Amy seemed confused, so Penny had to explain that you still get drunk, without drinking the whole bottle.

After taking a long drink from her full glass, Penny just came out with it. 'Amy, I like Howard. I like him, and I've been going crazy! We went out and then Leonard got all caveman on him and it just isn't fair! I don't know what to do, I mean, I told him I wouldn't be interested in him if he were the last man on earth. What do I do?' Somewhere along the rant, Penny had started crying. She downed the rest of her glass and refilled it. She knew Amy was inexperienced when it came to social 'protocols', but they were friends, and she trusted Amy. And, well, she just couldn't talk to Bernadette about it! 'Penny, have you tried telling Howard about this?' Penny stared at her friend. 'Why would I tell Howard when I can barely admit it to myself? When it makes me hyper ventilate and rant? When all I can think of is everyone's reaction if we were to date?' Amy noticed that Penny had become somewhat panicked. 'Penny, no one has to know. You are now able to admit your feelings for Howard to yourself. Why not admit them to Howard? Find out how he feels Penny. Only then can you deal with them.' Penny wondered if Amy was right, if Howard reciprocated, then they could move forward together. If he didn't, then Penny could move on.

Meanwhile, Howard was thinking of ways to tell Penny how he felt about her. When every imagined scenario turned sour, he called Raj over. 'You like Penny? Like, actually like her? Not just leer at her and make a pervy comment sort of like, but have actual feelings for, kind of like?' Howard nodded. 'Wow. You're in so much trouble. Oh my god, dude, what about Leonard? What the frak is he going to say?' Howard had to explain about Leonard's previous outburst. Raj didn't look surprised, 'Dude, you know how Leonard feels about Penny. He thinks she'll come crawling back to him, or, more realistically, he hopes she'll snap her fingers so he can go back to sleeping with her. But we also know that she isn't interested in him. Especially after him and my sister. I think it made her realise just how well they didn't mesh.' Raj had never like Leonard and Penny together. Leonard always felt like he deserved Penny, when really, he didn't. So if Penny returned Howard's feelings, then he would be a shipper.

Back in the apartment...

'Why were Howard and Penny out together, eating? What does that mean? Who does Howard think he is, taking MY ex girlfriend out on dates? Wha-' Sheldon interrupted. 'Leonard, the point of this rant is unclear, but the contradiction in that sentence is very clear. Penny is your EX girlfriend. You two are no longer an item, having coitus or even remotely in a relationship. Howard has every right to take Penny out on a date. However, he, and Penny, I might add, made it abundantly clear that neither occasion was a date. I really don't know why you're unable to think logically, Leonard. It's quite simple, if you just listen.' Leonard just stared at him. He deserved Penny, after everything he'd been through. His parents not showing him love, being bullied, always being second best to his siblings in his accomplishments. Like that wasn't bad enough, he lived with Sheldon, and so had to put up with that crazy, make sure his demands were met, be humiliated by his social mishaps, and be blamed for the whole Arctic results mess. It wasn't all his fault, the other guys went along with it, why didn't they get any of the blame? Why did it all come down on him? He deserved happiness, and a hot girl to sleep with, dammit! But no one else thought this. They all thought Leonard was a sanctimonious and whiny man, who didn't deserve most of what he had, simply because he believed he deserved so much more. Leonard never did realise just how bad he came across.


End file.
